Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Kamikaze Kitty

Just a warning, this post is about my nasty, evil cat hating side!

Now, I don't hate all cats, just one of my own. Kitty. My arch nemesis. We have a vicious hate/hate relationship that revolves around him howling at me at all hours of the night, waking me up by smacking me in the face with muddy paws, tripping me on the way to the bathroom and the worst of all, taking a number 1 on my paperwork bound for the accountant (very, very embarrassing!!!) and that's just the highlights.

I don't know when our relationship turned so sour. He was an awesome kitten and a proud defender of our home against feral cats in his youth. But now a days, there is definitely a screw loose somewhere and he's taking out his pent up anger and frustration on me. And only me. He tolerates my husband in the way that all cats tolerate humans and actually shows affection to the girls, but when it's just me, and no one is looking, it's all death glares, bared fangs and claws. So it obviously is some vicious plot to undermine my position in the household and perch himself in a place of importance.

Ok so I've been watching maybe just a little too much Kid v's Kat and have had quite a bit of time to think about this, but I found the solution to my problems today on a post on Inhabitots and my mind just ran away with its self.

Now all I need is a tiny leather helmet, goggles and a white scarf and possibly the loan of a jet engine of some type. mwahahahahahahah

Just thought I might add that I am actually quite an animal lover and wouldn't ever actually harm the cat. We will continue to live as mortal enemies locked in a battle of wills. Although he may win the next staring competition and will probably mentally write a scathing retort to my post, I will always be the one with opposable thumbs and the can opener!

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